at least do it right

In the news lately: A young woman disappeared while hiking on Blood Mountain, in Georgia, with her dog. A shifty-eyed drifter was arrested practically dripping with her blood. Everyone is shouting for the death penalty.

A few thoughts.

Thought #1: Hey, Blood Mountain! I think I climbed Blood Mountain myself! Isn't it the highest elevation on the Georgia segment of the Appalachian Trail, about four or five days' hike from the southern trailhead at Springer Mountain?

I was right out of college when I struck out on the AT. (That was just before the whole Europe extravaganza I write about in my name is not loulou). Before I left for Springer Mountain, I had to handle a medium-freaked mother who didn't think her girl would be safe hiking alone in the land where Deliverance was filmed. So to make her happy, I found myself a male hiking buddy. He was a grad student named Joe, very manly and stubbly-faced, good at rasslin' bears and fighting off toothless mountain men. He didn't actually exist and my mom knew it, but she pretended that he did, and so did I, and that made us both feel better! So I headed off to Georgia with a big backpack and an imaginary friend and no clue what I was doing.

Now when I read the news of this woman's death, my blood chills. That could have been me getting hacked to death on Blood Mountain, with no help to be had from the vaporously insubstantial Joe. Do you realize how absolutely terrible that would have been? Think of it -- my mother would have spent the rest of eternity shrilling, "I told you so!" -- and I could hardly have argued with her. There's nothing worse than having one's mother be proven right.


Thought #2: Okay, can someone tell me what the hell is up with lethal injection? I hear it's under investigation as cruel and inhumane punishment. Apparently there have been fiascos where people bucked and howled on the table and wouldn't die on cue.

As a doctor, I am totally mystified by this. We put a million people to sleep every day in the OR without any discomfort. Not to mention, a thousand people a day manage to off themselves painlessly by overdosing on narcotics. Does this mean that our prison administrators are less capable than the average needle fiend?

I read a description of the method used. It's baffling. The first medicine given is a sedative, something like Valium. The second is a paralytic, which freezes the muscles so the subject can't kick. (It also means he can't breathe or shout for help.) The third medicine is potassium, which stops the heart.

The paralytic is the problem. It's useless. If the guy is properly sedated, there is no need to paralyze him, since he's feeling nothing and moving nothing anyway. And if the guy ISN'T properly sedated, you're inflicting great torment by locking an awake, conscious person into a state of immobility -- during which time he is asphyxiating slowly (due to being unable to draw breath) but still is fully aware and able to feel physical and mental anguish.

The only possible reason for using a paralytic is to make a painful horrible death look like a peaceful one, by keeping the victim from kicking and screaming and otherwise upsetting his audience. Well, that's just plain silly, IMHO.

I'm now going to spell out my recipe for execution -- just in case any prison system administrator is reading my blog tonight.
1. Start with a massive intravenous dose of a sedative like Versed or propofol. Push it hard and fast. This is not the place to nickel-and-dime the poor SOB by watering down the meds.
2. When the dude's head lolls back, hit him with a monster dose of potassium. Boom, heart stops. What's the problem?

For the record, I'm against the death penalty on most days. (On this topic, my liberally-educated intellect wars with my primitive Sicilian blood, so I waffle a lot.)

But it really, truly, just irks me to see these prison guys botching such an easy job.