George: You know, Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day.
Jerry: Well, if she splits the atom, I'll let it slide.
Recently I bought two long sleeveless black dresses, identical to the original that I wear as often as possible. This brings my total to five long sleeveless black dresses, three of them identical and the other two near-copies. I wear them under my white coat. They are long enough that I don't have to shave my legs, shapeless enough that they fit me at plus or minus fifteen pounds, and black enough to not show dirt if I wear them while building a retaining wall in the backyard.
I try to wear them in rotation but it's hard to remember which was yesterday's dress and which should be today's, since they live in a heap on my floor beside the shower. Possibly I'm just wearing the same one over and over. But I don't have a problem with that. Whenever I have a full load of wash, I throw all the black dresses into the machine. Then I can't think what to wear, so I stand in my closet blinking around stupidly like Columbus in the New World.
The only problem is, unlike Einstein I still care a little bit about public opinion. I don't give a damn if people say my clothes are boring, but I don't want them to actually suspect I'm wearing the same black dress off my floor every day. So at work yesterday I remarked in a loud voice to no one in particular, "Did you know, I have five black dresses like this one? I'm like Einstein!"
My partner L. overheard from across the nursing station. Her head snapped around and she looked visibly perturbed.
"Einstein wore dresses?" she gasped.
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